LOtR x HP FANFIC FOREVERRRSSSS D:<

by **Alina_Mau** Sun Jun 03, 2012 1:15 am

Woo 8D
My pet will be a wizard and and and I'll name him Harry and I'll have another pet and I'll name him Gandalf and he'll be all like "no Harry, you can not pass" and so he'll try to keep Harry from being a wizard. But Harry will still be a wizard one day because he believes! And because one day he'll grow an afro and look awesome and and uh one day I'll give Harry hair and a shirt cuz he doesn't need to be shirtless cuz he's Harry freaking Potter!

Okay, now lemme tell you what happens to Ron and Hermione.

I wont have pets of Ron or Hermione but I will make a story for them like Harry and Gandalf. Okay so one day Hermione was walking in the woods, and out pops.. wait for it.. FRODO. Yeah, Frodo pop out of the random woods now cuz hes frodo freaking baggins. 8D And and then Hermione pepper sprayed him cuz he was all scary from popping out of nowhere, so he wall all like 'ahhh my eyes wth!' and she was like 'ahhh a scary midget popping out of nowhere!!' and so they both ran away screaming. Rons story will come with the next trade sent by me to by you, if it shall ever come. 8D
- To be continued-

So one day this ginger, named Ron, was walking along, minding his own business. When suddenly, he found his way near a retirement home. Outside, sitting in a rocking chair, was an old dude named Saruman. He was put there by his children cuz he was all evil and stuff and his son's wife was all like "Billy Bob you better kick that weirdo out or I'm a-leavin yu!! YU HER ME?!" She always was a bit of a redneck. But Billy Bob could not let his darling wife leave, for if he did, who would drive her to her favorite restaurant, Bucky's Chik'n N Grill? I mean, she used to have a motor scooter for that, but damn even those have a weight limit!
ANYWAYS. So Saruman saw Ron walking by, and called out to him "Ay gurl, you be lookin' fiiiiiine." And so Ron was like "Bloody ell! I'm a boy you pedophilic wanka!" And Saruman said "What? Well ye look like a woman from behind! Hahaha!" And the two fought. But soon after, another old dude came outside and was all like "You two bicker like a married couple! HAHA!!" And then proceded to moon the two. That Ole Man Jefferson, I swear.. But Ron and Saruman took his comment to heart and were both like "Ey, what a good idea!" Saruman said "I'm already older than frigging dirt with no wife, why not!" "Haha, well my true love left me for a midget!" Ron chuckled. And so it was settled. Ron and Saruman got married, and lived happily ever after.
THE END.

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And then Ron and Saruman lived happily ever after. The End. <3

((HOLY BALLS THIS ISNT EVEN OVER YET?!))

HUR DERP

After the honeymoon Ron and Saurman moved into a tiny wizardy house/tower combo dealy. They took up skipping together as a hobby and frequently blew bubbles down cherry tree lanes. they became so flaming gay that their combined hotness frequently set I need to watch my language on FIYAH while they carried around tiny dogs in flambouyant purses. when theyre not rolling around in fields of fluffy white feathers theyre singing "afternoon Delight" while poking eachother with cats. They frequently campaigned against babby eating while sending their poking cats and purse puppies after the offenders.

As wizards they were hoping to have beautiful anus babbies and have an amazing white haired/red haired family together.

Ron and Saruman were hoping to have ginger haired babbies, even though gingers were rare in their part of town. They didn't want to adopt, so they went for getting a surrogate. They very soon saw difficulty with this. as not just anyone should carry their babby. "OMG I KNOW, what about Hermione? : D" Ron exclaimed. To which Saruman slapped him across the face. "Gaddamit you're a dumbass! That slut left your ass for a MIDGET. A MIDGET, RON. NOT A LITTLE PERSON, BUT A FUKING MIDGET!" I would know. Lousy good-for-nothing.." Saruman noticed he was getting off topic. "Oh. Uh, sorry about that. It's just.. that Frodo guy.. he was a dick." "It's okay honey frosted cornflakes, let it out." Ron said encouragingly. "Thanks snuffle wubble kins." Saruman said. Then they shared an intensely gay bro hug. "Anyways. What I was going to say before I got sidetracked. That Hermione girl, she was eaten." "What? How the bloody ell is that even POSSIBLE!?" "Oh.. it's possible. If ya.. catch mah drift." Saruman giggled creepily. "But that's not what I meant. I mean that she was turned into a cake. Then she was eaten, because she was probably delicious." "WHAT!?! Why did no one ever tell me that my ex lover is now gone!" "Because emphasis on the EX, sweetie buncakes. You and me are what matters, not that jerkface." Just forget it. Forget I ever asked about her, we don't even need a surrogate. Let's just adopt!" Ron suggested. "Okay, I guess that was always a nice option. Do you still want a ginger babby?" "Well yes, but.. actually, wait a minute. I think there is something else we might be able to do. Do you still keep in touch with Sam?" "Yes, I can call him up right now if you'd like." He then called Sam. Then he came over because Ron just used his magikel wand. "Hey Sam, you and Rosie have kids, right?" Asked Ron. "Righty-oh, ole chap!" "Gah, must you be so stereotypical, Samwise?" Saruman said, clearly frustrated. "Sorry Saru, Rosie really likes it." He shrugged. "Anyways, you were asking something about my kids?" "Yes, yes. Your wife, Rosie, she can't have children, can she? Did you adopt?" Ron asked. "Adopt? Heavens to Betsy, no! I popped the babbies out from me anus!" "Out from.. your anus? How is that even.." "Don't question it, Ronald. Just.. wish it. Wish anything and it will happen! This might also help, though." He placed something in Ron's hand and walked off with a wink. "How will cocai-" "Ahah Ron, don't question it! Just do it." Saruman said. "So I just.. put this up my anus? And out will pop a babby?" "I guess. Stranger things have happened man. I mean, your ex lover was turned into a fuking cake." And with that, Ron did as Sam told him. Then they had a wonderful moment shortly after. "Saru.. babbycakes lovemunchkin.." "Yes, poopsie lollie gumdrop bear?" "We're pregnant!" "OMG yaaaay!" They celebrated for a long while, and 3 months later was the big day. Of course the time was sped up a little because they are magic. It happened after a trip to good ole Taco Bell. "Saruman, I think.. I think this is happening." "The runs? Yeah, the only bad thing about this place.." "No you bloody idiot! The babby!" "OMFG WUT DO WE DOOOOOO?! D:" "I don't know, it's in my anus! Do I just.. poop it out?" "What? No! The babby would hit it's head on the ground and die!" "Well I could always prevent that. With.. oh I don't know, MAGIC?" "Ah. Well if you're gonna use that line, then why are you even trying to actually get the babby out through the anus? Why not just use magic?" Ron looked at Saruman with the most intense and sad eyes. "Because.. I want to have this babby the natural way! Well, maybe not NATURAL, but close enough for a man." And so he did. And from then on, they raised that babby. His name was Fremiode, because well, some things you can never let go. They all lived a happy life together from that day forth.

The End of Weasuman P. II